A Perfect Sunday Morning

Every day I open my eyes and I am grateful I did it, I did. No-one else came to save me.

On the days I didn’t think I’d make it through, I dug deep, and upleveled who I was. To this divinely magnetic, confident & joyful, inspiring woman who I am proud to call me. My god I am proud.

I am my own woman first.

I am an individual, sovereign woman before I am anyone elses.

And yet, my man lies next to me.

The king I called in. Sleeping peacefully.

True, strong, protective, adoring, affectionate, thoughtful, loyal, honest, sexy, emotionally available always, communicative, masculine, can command a room, a provider, a passionate lustful lover, my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, accepting me as all that I am.

He knows I am me first, before any role, title or responsibility.

He respects and loves that because he knows how hard I worked to get here.

This woman right here, she fought for herself relentlessly from the trenches of a place I never wish to return to. 

No victim playing, no blaming her past.

I didn’t always get it right, (who does?) but I kept going. I fought hard for me. I still do. 

The cards had been dealt in 2023 and since then I moved with them. Felt every emotion. Moved through each and felt every wound and pain that came with that initiation. Because that's what it feels like now. A test of "can you do this alone". Well turns out I can. Extraordinarily well considering. 

Inherently knowing my worth. Even on the days I felt my old mental stories of not being good enough were winning, I fought through them. Fought hard.

With grit, with such a love for life and the endless possibilities that comes with opening up to it.

I actually feel gratitude for all the pain because it all led me to this. 

Because now, I can hear our little girl calling out for us. That perfect little angel we made with the deepest of love.

Bonnie’s head poking up excited her little sister is awake.

And you stir awake my love, with your gorgeous sleepy grin. And you pull me in for a kiss and ask me to bring her to us in bed.

So I come for you my little darling, and laugh at your divinely perfect outstretched arms and lift you all the way close to me.

I’ve known you were coming for a long time now, but to hold you? My goodness, there are no words for that.

And I take you to your daddy who is ready and waiting as always for his little girl.

I go to the kitchen to get your favourite morning drink, Bonnie at my feet, for 10 years my sidekick. My special perfect girl who taught me how to be a mum before our baby girl arrived, never once left my side, even in the trenches days.

From the kitchen I listen to you two loving each other, and in that moment, I realised I had never experienced true bliss before. I took a deep breath into that and soaked that moment all the way in the part of my heart you originally came from, before you even existed. "It was never meant to be anyone else but you" I heard in my mind.

"Mama" I hear. "Chezzzzz, baby girl wants her mumma" you shout, and you both giggle. 

And I crawl back into bed with you both, home.